Honesty is always the best policy when explaining to your child or children that you will be placing their sibling (or half-sibling) for adoption.
No matter how you present it, describing adoption and what it means for the family is a complex and challenging discussion. We’ve got some suggestions to help you begin the conversation.
Always Talk About Adoption Openly
Secrets tend to build fear. Your children, whatever age, need to hear about adoption as soon as possible.
If you haven’t made up your mind, avoid introducing the idea until you are sure that is the direction you want to go. Once you’ve begun the adoption process with an agency, openly discuss your decision and the steps you are taking.
One way that can help open the lines of communication about adoption is to watch an adoption-related movie or show. Here is a list of a few of our favorites:
Use Appropriate Adoption Language
A phrase such as “giving up (or away)” can confuse a kid. Instead, use terms like “I am making an adoption plan” or “I am placing your little brother or sister for adoption.”
If your children are young, avoid the details such as “finding a potential adoptive couple” and opt for “finding another mommy and daddy.” Remember, only you know what your child is able to process and you can always talk to your adoption counselor for more suggestions, in fact, we encourage it.
Don’t Hide Your Feelings
Placing a child for adoption can be stressful and emotional in any situation. Make sure your biological children who remain with you know you are struggling.
Explain to your kids why you have to make this painful decision. Are you not able to financially provide for another child? Has the father of this child abandoned you? Do you not have the physical support of someone to watch your kids while you work? All of these are valid reasons.
Let your kids know where you are in the process and, if age-appropriate, bring them into the decision-making. Discuss the different family profiles and ask for their feedback regarding which family would be best.
Assure the Kids in Your Home That They Are Safe
Reassure your kids that you love them and will not be placing them for adoption. Let them know you are committed to caring for them and providing all they need.
As you speak about their adopted sibling, tell your kids they will always have that brother or sister as part of their lives, and you will always be that child’s mother. Encourage an atmosphere of love whenever you talk about them.
Talk To Us
At Adoption Angels, our caring staff is prepared to listen and help you sort through your options. We offer professional one-on-one guidance to you and your family as you work through the process.
Even after placing your child, we continue to counsel and support you. We never want you to feel alone in your decision.
Fill out our confidential contact form to learn more about adoption as an option. You can also call or text us 24/7 at (210) 227-2229 if you want to speak to someone first. We are here for you.
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