Every parent wonders what the future holds for their children. You hope they will make good choices, find happiness, and, more than anything, want to have a relationship with their parents, both biological and adoptive.
How you set up your adoption plan at the beginning can affect how an adult adoptee views both sets of parents.
It’s critical to remember adoption is never a one-time event. It’s a lifetime adventure. Every adoption is as unique as the people involved. Here are a few tips that may help you get a glimpse into your future.
Growing Up
Like children growing up in their biological families, adoptees are affected by their home life, family dynamics, neighborhoods, schools, and friends. But there is one crucial difference. An adoptee has a part of their lives that is entirely unknown to them.
If the birth and adoptive parents agree to have an open adoption, their child has more knowledge of their biological family. However, knowing and living day-to-day are two different things.
With a semi-open adoption, an adoptee has even less information but can still have confidence in some knowledge of their biological family. Although sometimes necessary, a closed adoption plan leaves everyone in the dark.
Of course, the ability to have a relationship with one another depends entirely on the willingness of everyone involved. Adoptive parents feel threatened and afraid birth parents may want their child back. Birth parents wonder what is said about them and if their child knows they love them.
The adoptee ponders why they like cats when their adoptive parents are strictly dog people or why they have black hair when their parents have blonde. They may wonder if their biological families even think about them. The unknown is one of the most complicated aspects of adoption.
How You Talk About Adoption Matters
Because adoption is slowly creeping out of the shadows, birth parents, adoptive parents, and adoptees are more willing to talk about their experiences.
With open and semi-open adoptions, children learn about their adoptions at a very early age. Many adoptees say they’ve known about their adoptions for as long as they can remember.
It is imperative that adoptive parents speak respectfully of their child’s biological parents. Even if there were issues such as substance abuse, incarceration, or mental health problems, adoptive parents must never ridicule the biological parents. After all, they became parents because of the choice the birth parents made.
Adoptive parents must make room for honest questions and open discussions as their child grows. Although parents may feel hesitant, there's comfort when a child knows they can ask anything.
Growing Up as an Adoptee
In their teen years, many adoptees struggle with feelings of rejection. They find it difficult to understand why their biological mothers would choose adoption. They may have feelings of guilt because they want to know more about their biological families.
Some adoptees act out because the abandonment they feel is so deep. Others grow up feeling confident they have as much information as they need. Again, the adoption experience is as unique as each family.
Adoptive parents must make room for a birth mother and father’s story in their child’s life. Whether the biological parents tell it in person or it’s conveyed through the adoptive parents, children need to know what it was like for their birth mother and father to choose adoption.
Everyone longs to know who they are and where they came from. Adoptive parents should give their children as much information as they possibly can. Of course, as the child reaches adulthood, the relationship switches to what they are comfortable with.
What Can Adoption Angels Offer?
If you are an expectant mother considering adoption for your child, know that Adoption Angels provides free counseling throughout your adoption journey and beyond. Our qualified staff offers comfort and support 24/7 for as long as you need it.
We provide adoption education, support, and guidance for potential adoptive parents throughout your journey. We work hard to provide the best care and knowledge to see you through the process.
If you wish to explore adoption for your unplanned pregnancy or you are a couple hoping to adopt, contact Adoption Angels. Expectant mothers can reach us by filling out our confidential contact form. Prospective adoptive parents can begin the process here. You can both call or text us at (210) 227-2229.
We look forward to talking with you.
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Hello & Thank You , My name is Kerstin, and I'm so grateful to you for considering me and my son Malakai as a possible match for you and your child. A single person might not have been your first thought for your child, but I have just as much support and love to give as a couple would have - or even more! My life is rich with family, friends, and opportunities. I have a successful career that provides my family with the resources to explore the world and experience new things. I would love the opportunity to share these wonderful experiences with your child. Malakai (Kai for short) was adopted at birth and is three years old. We have an open relationship with his birth mom and often send her pictures and videos. I am open and committed to whatever type of communication you would like. I want you to know that your child will always know their adoption story and the love you have for them. I am happy to answer any questions you have so that you can make the best decision for you and your baby. As you'll see in this profile, I have a deep love and appreciation for all different cultures, and I love to learn about people and places all over the world. Travel has been a big part of my life, and I also appreciate and value diversity close to home. We live on a street with families of many different backgrounds, and the schools and businesses in our neighborhood also reflect that diversity. I love languages and have studied Spanish and Haitian Creole. The public elementary school closest to our home is a dual immersion bilingual school (Spanish and English). I would love for Malakai and any future child I might have to attend this school because I highly value bilingual language skills and the opportunity to build relationships with classmates and teachers of many different backgrounds. I am committed to honoring and valuing your child's cultural background and ensuring that it is an important part of their daily lives. I pray often for you and your journey. I thank God for you and your decision to consider adoption. I pray for God to give you peace and comfort. Thank you for taking the time to learn more about me and Malakai and see if we might be a good match for you and your child. With Love, Kerstin
Hello & Thank You , First off, let's introduce ourselves. Our names are Amy, Hao, and our not so little man James Paul. We want you to know how grateful we are to you for looking at our book. Our goal is for you to get to know who we are in an honest and real way. Adoption has a complex variety of feelings for all parties involved, especially for you. We can't begin to understand the emotional and overwhelming circumstances you have had to face in making these difficult decisions. We want you to know we support you and think that what you are doing is selfless and generous beyond comprehension. From an early age, I knew carrying a child to full term would be highly unlikely. So, when we met, having children was a part of our early conversations. We always wanted a family and knew adoption was going to be how we would become parents. This led us to adopt our beautiful and sweet son, James. We have so much more love to share with another child, and James is waiting with open arms and a welcoming smile. Our upbringing has significantly shaped who we are today, including our parenting style and how we plan for our future. Both of our parents are still married, and observing their relationship through both happy and challenging times has taught us the importance of commitment in maintaining a long-lasting marriage. Our family includes no shortage of caring aunts, fun uncles, and many young cousins to grow up with. One thing you can be certain of is DOTING GRANDPARENTS!! We are blessed that we can go to anyone in our family for guidance, advice, and support. You could not ask for a more dedicated crew of family members. We promise to you that we will honor you in the way you deserve. We will share with you the progress of your wonderful and cherished child's life. You'll be part of their life story from their earliest days to the questions that arise with growing curiosity. Your role will always be respected, valued, and cherished. We hope that our book gives you insight into who we are as people and as a family. Our very different strengths will lead to us raising well-rounded children. Together, we will teach them the importance of acceptance and kindness to those around them while still allowing them to be independent and able to stand up for themselves. Hao and I share the greatest hope of raising our children and providing them with safety and security, all with an embarrassing amount of love and affection. Thank you for considering us; we could not do it without you. Sincerely, Hao & Amy
Hello & Thank You , First, we want to thank you so much for considering us to be the parents of your child and for taking the time to learn a little about our lives! We can't imagine what a difficult time this must be for you, though we don't know what you are feeling. However, we do know that we admire your courage and strength! We are Mike and Tiffany, a fun loving couple from Texas who have been together 10 years and married almost 9! We spent many years trying to conceive a baby on our own, and with no luck, we didn’t want to wait to grow our family any longer. We chose adoption rather than going through IVF and were blessed with our first son in 2022. The experience we have had with his adoption has been so wonderful, and we can’t wait to give him a brother or sister. We have always wanted a big family, as both of ours are relatively small, and we are so grateful for this adoption opportunity because, without it, we wouldn’t be able to have that. Tiffany is a stay-at-home mom currently and will continue to do so. She loves being able to be so involved with raising our children and growing a special bond from the beginning. Also, her parents and grandparents live next door to us, so they will always be surrounded by love and family. We promise to provide your child with a safe, loving home with fun adventures and a wonderful education. We will always be honest with them about where they came from, how much you love them, and how that love brought them to us! We will keep you and your child in our prayers, and no matter your decision, we wish you the best on this emotional journey. Love, Mike & Tiffany
Hello & Thank You , Hello, and thank you for taking the time to consider us as adoptive parents for your baby. We are so excited to be adopting and bringing a child into our family! We can’t begin to understand the weight of this choice and want you to know that your child's well-being is our top priority. Please understand that we wish you and your child all the best no matter what you choose. We hope this book gives you a glimpse of our family. We are Andrew and Julie. We have been together for eight years and married for five. After five years of infertility struggles, multiple fertility clinic visits, and miscarriages, we are ready to give our unconditional love to a child and expand our family through the miracle of adoption! Education, love, and respect are the core values we hold dear. We will encourage your child to explore their passions, embrace their heritage, and pursue their dreams. Our home will be a place of unconditional love, where open communication and understanding are paramount. We are prepared to become parents to a precious child and can’t wait to share our love of family with them. Many family members and friends are excitedly waiting to welcome a new baby to cherish. We want you to feel welcome and hope to get to join our families together for all the love. Your child will have the support of a large, connected family. Thank you for taking the time to read through our book, your consideration means the world to us. We wish you strength and courage during this journey. Sincerely, Andrew & Julie
Hello & Thank You , Just saying thank you isn't enough for us to express our gratitude for considering us to be adoptive parents. We cannot begin to understand how difficult this decision is and that it is not taken lightly. No matter your decision, you are in our thoughts and prayers. We are Amanda and Spencer. We have been together over ten years and have been married for three. From the very beginning of our relationship, we talked about starting a family, but God had different plans for us. Unfortunately, Amanda has faced health challenges that have led to infertility, which won't allow us to have our own biological children. Adoption has touched both our lives in meaningful ways. Spencer's mother was adopted, and she is ecstatic that we are pursuing this path. In addition, Spencer has two adopted cousins, and I have one as well. Both of our families are loving and supportive of our decision, and we are all ready to share unconditional love with a child. Since we both have relatives who were adopted, we believe it is important for your child to understand their adoption story from the very beginning. We look forward to sharing with your child just how special they and their birth family are to us. The relationship between a child and their birth family is significant, and we strongly support an open adoption. There is no such thing as too many people to love and support a child. Raised in the Catholic faith, we plan to instill the same values in our future child. We cherish faith, family, community, friendships, and love, and we will teach the importance of hard work and the achievements it can bring. With both our families and friends nearby, your child will be surrounded by a loving network of support. Thank you for the time to read our story and consider us as potential adoptive parents. We wish you peace on this journey and the very best for you and your child. Sincerely, Spencer & Amanda
Hello & Thank You , We are Damon and Amanda, and we thank you for taking the time to learn more about our family. We can't imagine how hard this choice must be, and we have SO much respect for you. Your courage is truly admirable. We hope our story will be helpful as you make your choice. Please know that no matter what you decide, we wish you and your child nothing but the best, and you will both be in our prayers. We would love to share a little about ourselves, and hopefully, this book will give you a clear picture of who we are! We have grown so much during our years of marriage! Our journey has included buying a house, starting new jobs, surviving a pandemic, experiencing years of infertility and loss, going on many trips, and so much more. Throughout the highs and lows, our relationship has only become stronger. We feel very blessed to have wonderful parents and grandparents who model healthy relationships. They have taught us invaluable lessons and instilled strong morals in us. From the beginning, we have known that we wanted children and planned to have them at a young age. However, we faced three years of infertility and treatments, which ultimately resulted in loss. Going through it all taught us many important lessons and brought us even closer to each other and to God. We have always wanted to adopt, and we feel that now is the right time to do it! For us, raising a child means reading books together before bed, quality family time, lots of outdoor adventures, supporting whatever dreams he/she may have, and a home full of laughter. We value communication, kindness, and passion. Our goal is to create a loving environment that inspires creativity and curiosity, embraces differences, and opens opportunities for learning and growth. Our home is filled with warmth, love, laughter, and support. Adoption means a lot to us! It represents strong people who love a child so much that they come together to build a wonderful relationship, ensuring the best care for that child. We have inspiring adoption stories within our extended family and friends, and we are grateful for their incredible support as we embark on this journey. Our utmost hope is to be the family that provides hope, love, support, and care for your child. We promise to raise them in an encouraging, safe, and loving home, striving to be the best parents we can be. We will encourage them to follow their dreams and support them every step of the way. Your child will grow up knowing their story and understanding just how loved they are by all of us. We can't express how grateful we are to be considered as potential adoptive parents for your child. Thank you again for reading about us! Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. Sincerely, Damon & Amanda
Hello & Thank You , We are beyond grateful for you considering us as prospective parents. Please know that what is best for you and the baby is the most important thing throughout this process. We can only imagine the difficulties that come with this decision, but please know that your child will be loved without qualification. We are so excited to begin our adoption journey and bring a child into our family. We are Will & Lorena, and we have been together for almost 7 years. Our path to adoption starts with Will being adopted himself at birth and from a young age, knowing that this was always going to be a part of his family plan. As we began to discuss having a family, Lorena was concerned about getting pregnant due to her infertility diagnosis, so turning to adoption was an easy call for us to start our family. The values that are most important to our household are love, kindness, and respect. Ensuring that, above all else, people are treated equally will be core to the teachings we share with our child. We want to encourage them to be curious and welcome diversity in all forms and to do so with a smile. Both of us love to laugh, and we want our child’s life to be filled with those unforgettable moments. To us, adoption is a beautiful journey shared by all parties involved. We are lucky to have extremely supportive friends and family to guide and join us on this journey. With Will’s own experience, including his relationship with his birth mother, we know we are lucky to have tremendous examples to mentor us along our own path as we welcome a child into our family. Should you choose us to welcome your child into our family, they will be unconditionally surrounded by love and warmth. We appreciate you taking this time to consider us as prospective parents, and should you choose us, we are prepared to listen to, support, and honor your wishes throughout this process. Sincerely, Will & Lorena
Hello & Thank You , Thank you for taking the time to learn a little about us. While we cannot say we understand the emotions, decisions, and journey you are facing, we recognize and honor the enormous gift you are sharing with a family like ours. We are Christi and Michael. We have been together for 6 years and married for 4. When we first started dating, I shared with Michael that biological children might not be a possibility for me due to the reproductive issues I had experienced. When Michael stated without hesitation that he was open to adoption, I knew he was someone special. After trying the recommended fertility treatments to ensure we were never left wondering, “What if?” we started our adoption journey feeling relieved and confident this was the path meant for us. Part of what drew us to each other was how we viewed our families and our desires to have a family of our own. Both of our lives have been touched by adoption in various ways. Therefore, we knew we were ready to start our adoption journey. In 2023, we welcomed our daughter, Isabel (Izzy), into our lives through adoption. Izzy has brought so much joy, laughter, love, and fun to our lives ever since. We are so grateful to have been chosen as Izzy’s adoptive parents and are blessed to guide her on this journey of life. We believe it is important for your child to understand their adoption story from the beginning and look forward to letting them know how truly special they and their birth family are to us. We welcome an open adoption as we value the relationship between a child and their birth family. Children can never have too many people who love and support them. We have established a small group of friends who have young, adopted children and enjoy meeting them throughout the year. We believe it will be valuable for our children to have the opportunity to be around other adopted children throughout their lives. There are adoptees in that group, and we talk openly with them about their experience as adoptees to help us gain insight into their perspective. With a large family nearby, your child will be loved and surrounded by many family members, friends, and a faith community. In addition to providing your child with unconditional love, we hope to instill the qualities of honesty, integrity, faith, kindness, the value of family, and perseverance. Both of us come from hard working families where we each learned to be independent, responsible, and self-sufficient, knowing we always had our families supporting us. We appreciate your time and continue to pray for you and the decisions that lie ahead. You are a beautiful person, and you are giving an invaluable gift. We hope you feel the love and peace you deserve. Sincerely, Michael & Christi
Hello & Thank You , There's no way for us to begin understanding your life, struggles, and victories. Hopefully, we can play a part in one another's stories- sharing and growing through all the ups and downs that this world has to offer. Know that if chosen, we will love your child unconditionally and fiercely protect and shelter them all the day of our lives. This whole process feels a little surreal, and finding the perfect words to say them is a challenge. Thank you, though, for even looking at this book and taking a peek into our lives. We want to reassure you that we have the utmost respect and admiration for you, regardless of the path you choose. We are confident that whomever you choose to raise your baby will be the perfect fit! Regardless of where each of our lives goes, we want you to know you are continuously in our hearts and minds. After struggling with infertility and going through several fertility treatments, we made the decision not to pursue IVF. We felt like God was pulling on our hearts to bring someone into our lives in a different way. After much prayer and conversation, we decided adoption was the clear path, and we're excited to grow our family this way. Following the completion of our home study and application with Adoption Angels, we were in disbelief one morning when Alexandra took a pregnancy test, and it was positive. However, during our daily evening walk that day, we both knew that we wholeheartedly wanted to continue to pursue adoption. Alexandra comes from a large family where many of her brothers and sisters are close in age, her brother Russ being a mere 18 months apart from her. Growing up so close in age, we were less siblings and more partners and crime- each other’s best confidants and adventure buddies as we traveled the world with the military. The loyalty, utter love, and connection we feel toward each other are hard to explain, and to this day, my siblings and my brother's wife are my best friends. We would be over the moon excited to raise children who would experience this bond and feel the same love and closeness. It’s becoming clearer to us every day that this is the path God has been leading us on all along. Know that no matter how a child comes into our family, we plan to love them exactly as we love our son, Adrian- with every fiber of our being! Thank you again so much for reading our story! Aaron & Alex
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